If you were looking for more sexy, bloody scenes out of this season of American Horror Story: Hotel, last night's episode did not disappoint. The sixth episode, titled "Room 33," opens up with a scene set in 1926, when Lady Gaga's Countess Elizabeth visits a doctor's office to terminate a pregnancy. However, during the operation the unborn child (supposedly only three weeks into the pregnancy) attacks the nurse, proving that Elizabeth has the power to give birth to vampire children as easily as she can turn regular children into vampires.
We then cut to a series of relationships blossoming, starting with a suprising scene with Denis O'Hare's Liz Taylor (above) and Tristan (Finn Wittrock) in bed together. The couple gets emotional when they realize they are falling in love, but they are too afraid to tell the Countess of their betrayal to her.
Skip to another room in Hotel Cortez, where the Countess and Will Drake (Cheyenne Jackson) are in the heat of the moment as well. Elizabeth decides to get her boyfriend, Tristan, involved and shoots him a text to come upstairs, which he obliges almost instantly, leaving Liz behind.
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In the meantime, the Lowe family continues to fall apart. After John Lowe (Wes Bentley) wakes up to his vampire son in his bed, he follows him down to the basement of the hotel and sees the coffins in the empty pool. When Chloe Sevigny's Alex (below) finds her husband passed out in the hall, she convinces him that he is having a psychotic break.
Cut to Elizabeth wearing a beautiful white chiffon gown, we finally see what is behind the door to Room 33. The Countess is tucking in her vampire baby, who hasn't seemed to age from when he first attacked the nurse only three weeks into his creation. Elizabeth heads out of town with Will Drake (obviously, to make him fall madly in love with her) and that's when her two exes make their move.
Ramona (Angela Bassett) and Donovan (Matt Bomer) are hell-bent on revenge, and decide that the best time to do it is when the Countess is out of town. Turns out good old Iris (Kathy Bates) is also up for the adventure as well. When Ramona (below) asks what has gotten into her, she replies, "About six pints of O-negative," referring to the poor hipster boy (Darren Criss) she murdered just the day before (and who, we later realize, is still searching for his kale even in the afterlife).
Donovan splits from the two vengeful women and runs into the two dead Swedish tourists from Episode 1, whose ghosts have apparently been wandering around the hotel this whole time. He explains to the two blonde Europeans that they need to find their "purpose" and that they can't get out of this cycle of eternity until that happens. The two girls interpret this purpose as seducing men and then killing them, which they exhibit first on a bourgeois man named Mr. Wu. Their second culprit is a very drunk and easily convinced John Lowe, whom they try to kill; however, he fights back and runs into the hotel lobby naked and covered in blood.
At that point, John has had it with the hotel and finally decides to go and get his long-lost daughter Scarlett (Shree Grace Crooks) from Grandma's house to bring her home. But when they get home they discover the Countess's evil fetus demon, Bartholomew, who had slipped into John's suitcase before he left the hotel, and the detective goes insane trying to shoot it. The police are not happy with his mental state, and Alex arrives at the scene just in time to send Scarlett back to her grandma's. Before heading back to Cortez, however, Alex finds Bartholomew in the bushes and brings him home.
Back at the hotel, Elizabeth returns from Paris and sits down to chat with Liz Taylor and Tristan about their newfound love. She's wearing a glamorous green gown with her signature razor-sharp gloves as she pours some drinks and tells them how "emotion is a flavor in her mouth" and how betrayal is the only flavor she doesn't enjoy. Eventually, she seems to give in and let Liz "have this one" (referring to Tristan) but not for long, because she promptly slits the model's throat to make a point that no one should ever go stealing her boy toys.
The episode closes out with Elizabeth returning to Room 33 with baby Bartholomew—and our first good look at him all episode. It turns out we weren't missing out on much: The demon fetus looked exactly as you would expect a demon fetus to look, which is not very cute.
A few lessons we learned: Don't steal Elizabeth's men, try not to die in Hotel Cortez as you'll never leave, and, most of all, don't trust the B in Room 33.
Catch American Horror Story: Hotel on FX, Wednesdays at 10 p.m. ET.
